Watch this video. It’s less than an hour of your time. If you don’t have time, go ahead and read my thoughts on the presentation and share yours! I’d love to hear what you think.
A little bit of stress is good… it makes you practice and do the things you need to do. A lot of stress makes you freak out and cram and nothing is retained or practical. Constant stress not only makes you freak out and kills retention, but it actually makes you sick. I think I do this sometimes and end up with migraines.
Why is the work to life ratio satisfaction so challenging? Why do we require perfection of ourselves? We have to learn to overcome stresses that we put on ourselves and unreasonable stresses from others.
Stress changes… and the ratio also needs to change… family obligations are more difficult during certain times and grad school obligations are more difficult during certain times… learning to be flexible is key! It’s okay that these things change and it’s okay to put family before work/school when there are plans, emergencies… life happens!
Strategize to approach the stress… don’t hit the point of totally frazzled! Learn to define personal satisfaction… everyone’s is different. Hobbies and interests reinforce the value of work and work can be satisfying… SHOULD be satisfying! Tension of multitasking is stressful but approachable with a good plan. Learning to match my personal priorities with my goals and ethics and plans. Setting goals!
80th birthday tribute: What will others say about my life… what do I hope they’ll say? What do I want to be remembered for?
Who do I talk to when I’m feeling “off”? There is a HUGE amount of importance in creating a strong support group with a variety of people that have different strengths to offer you… spouse, professors, peers, social forums, doctors, therapists etc…
Be honest about what I need and learn how to be honest about limitations. Ask for what you need. Don’t be afraid… we all need help. Writing really helps me think about this. Not only is it important to ask for what you need… it’s okay that I’m not super woman. The people that I idolize and look up to have imperfects and needs too! Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to say “that’s too much”. Say “with this resource, I can be really successful at that task” or “I can do this better if you can give me an extra day or two”. Learning how to present myself will help not only me, but the people that consider me part of their support group. “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours”. I worry too much about asking for what I need. This is something I need to work on.
I make a weekly schedule. It always gets changed, but at least I have a skeleton. Color coding is something I do too. I hadn’t thought about the percentages though… I need to find some service projects. I find them rewarding, but I need to make them a priority. I really like the idea of sharing it with my peers/husband to help me stay accountable to the schedule. I often find myself wondering what happened to all of my time. I need to include things like email, breaks, etc… it’s okay if I take time for blogging, facebook, etc… but I need to hold myself accountable for that time too so that it doesn’t overwhelm me. Outlets are important. I like the idea of TOP 5 things for both work and home (ie grocery store, study for an exam, etc). Then Prioritize! Include things like bill paying, scheduling, football game, travel, etc.
I never tell anyone “no”. Ever. I really need to work on this. Especially to thing that don’t align with my priorities. I loved the diagram: Does it align with my skills? Does it interest me? What do I get out of it? (it’s okay to want a reward of some sort).
Shifting my mindset: if something is stressing me out, I often put it off. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one… writing a paper, studying, paying bills, etc… I need to work on activities that help me shift my mindset.